Hall of Shame

The very first member of the Hall of Shame wasn't voted on by the staff. Folks, I made this one an executive decision. Tucker Carlson, may I, personally, Skyler Jefferson, CEO of Legalize Cow Punching, give you an unequivocal fuck you. Fuck you, you deranged lunatic.

Unanimous decision from the staff, and one I don't disagree with. Walt Disney was a massive racist and a worse anti-semite, but that's not even our main problem with them. On black friday, they offered a massive discount to all new customers, and shortly thereafter, increased the price for existing customers. Didn't lock it. Didn't decrease it. Just increased it with almost no notice. So y'know what? Fuck you, Disney. Take your Simpsons and shove em up your ass.

Second executive decision. Sorry, guys. I love my team, but this one is real personal. As a hobbyist programmer/developer, I am unabashedly ashamed at this company. ExpressVPN, as of 2018, is owned by Kape, formerly known as Crossrider. Kape/Crossrider used to make straight up malware. Did ExpressVPN address this? Of course not. They also act like a VPN is COMPLETE lockdown security. ..It's not. Borderlining on deceptive business practices is a one way ticket to a middle finger from me.

This wasn't *quite* an executive decision. I suggested it to the staff, though. They voted on it. This company is so god damn shady, we got more votes to put them in the hall of shame than we have employees. Above unanimous. That is how fucking disgraceful Raid: Shadow Legends is. But why the unabashed hate for them? Simple: They committed fraud under the FTC by claiming previously that they do not sponsor or pay youtubers, despite an overabundance of evidence saying otherwise. Additionally, they act like their promo codes give so much, but you wanna know how much 50,000 silver equates to? Less than $1. It is outright gambling and has been banned in several countries because of it.

I originally wrote what felt like a novel about how shitty they are. But I deleted it. Partially because it fucked up how this page looks, but partially because nobody wants to sit here and read a wall of text about Roblox. I'll keep it simple: Shady company. Did almost nothing about a massive pedophile problem. Stiffed their developers. Doesn't care about players outside their wallets.

Suggested by the one guy in our office that really, REALLY likes Ranch (I swear to God, I saw him snorting a line of Hidden Valley seasoning in the break room) and voted in unanimously, Otis from Back to the Barnyard is our sixth member of our little hall of infamy. His crimes are:

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-Being a bipedal cow

-Committed acts of violence and harassment against Eugene Beady, a comrade to our movement, for simply doing his job

Mark. Fucking. Zuckerberg. Words cannot describe the amount of mild irritation I currently feel towards you. I didn't even let my staff vote on this, I just showed them what happened. Jimmy cried. YOU MADE. JIMMY. CRY. EVERYONE in this god damn office loves Jimmy. And you fucking made Jimmy cry. Reader, you may be wondering what Facebook did, if you haven't read the blog post.


Basically, I started an official facebook page for our beloved organization. They requested that I give them my ID to verify myself. They decided my ID isn't good enough, and permanently barred me and the organization from any sort of advertising. Y'know, the exact reason I made the page.

Mark, you can officially Zuck my fucking balls.

Elon Musk. In a rare unanimous vote, Elon Musk is the 8th member of the Hall of Shame. This money obsessed, absentee father, sociopathic asshole hardly deserves the time of day. Sure, he owns Tesla, SpaceX, Paypal, and probably Gary Coleman's mummified cock, but that doesn't change the person he is. Legalize Cow Punching was born out of the ashes of the CEO's twitter, which was banned for no legitimate reason. Permanent ban after a deez nuts joke. So guess what, Musk? You can engulf deez nuts. Fuck you and your dumb ass X AE A-XII.

You know, I couldn't let the team write this one for me. I had two different website management people pat me on the shoulder and say they got this, but I insisted. They got an extra paid break, and I, Skyler Jefferson, got to write this one and they can't feel guilty about it. That Vegan Teacher is the epitome of the evil side of veganism. Exemplifies what PETA is known for. Frankly, I wouldn't be shocked if her husband, ex or current, had to peel off dozens of pieces of PETA lingerie in the years he's had to deal with the torture of even knowing her. 

I could make a whole new website page purely to talk about EVERYTHING I hate about this Squidward looking piece of shit, but I'll just give a few highlights.

-She flat out advocated for the complete eradication of housecats purely because they aren't vegan. A total genocide of an entire pet species.
-She has compared the animal agriculture industry to the holocaust.
-She repurposed the "I Cant Breathe" slogan for George Floyd for her own incessant bullshit, AND encouraged people to "Ban cruelty instead of words" shortly after spelling out the N word. Hard R! 

We all hate the Dallas Cowboys at Legalize Cow Punching. This is especially true because we had three employees that openly supported the Dallas Cowboys: Skyler fired them immediately. The Dallas Cowboys locker room, fans, and ownership are some of the most toxic, diminutive, cancerous human beings on earth. Dak Prescott, the NFL's greatest interception throwing machine, is the only one on the Dallas Cowboys that is not a total douchebag.